February 18th, 2026. Plodding.

Slowly the bunny re-emerges.

Heather and I in the Lair, listening.

Feeling a little beaten. But in a good way. ilyAIMY played a benefit for Lurman Theater here in Catonsville today. I’d gotten a text about 2 weeks ago asking us to do the show. I was flattered to be asked, out of the many, many bands in the area, the idea that they’d come to us was Lovely. But selling tickets so soon after my birthday? Well, at first it wasn’t really handed to me as something WE had to draw to. It was a straight up guarantee and a good one, and so I didn’t bother to press the point too much. Maybe I should’ve. It turned out okay but the numbers stressed everyone out till the last moment. And Hell, maybe, just maybe it’d be a path into the Lurman Theater?

Ticket sales were slow, and then snow was threatening. Later that relaxed into rain and warmer temperatures, and maybe, just maybe ticket sales would pick up. But then Saturday morning Kristen’s dad went to the hospital, and everything got complicated. Sunday morning dawns soggily and I’m thinking negative thoughts. Lurman Theater had released their 2026 schedule this past week and I’m reminded that they only book cover acts and tribute acts. Any one of those performers would’ve probably pulled two or three times the numbers we did, but after the show a number of social media posts were flooded with new fans saying they’d like to see us at Lurman… so maybe, just maybe.

 

Last Wednesday, playing Live from the Lair with Eryn Michel. T'was a good night (February 11th, 2026)

And this is how I died...

Wednesday morning. Kristen’s dad is still in the hospital but with positive results, we think. There’s been a lot of pain medication, a lot of scans, a lot of poking, prodding and a bit of surgery. Not a lot of communication, which is frustrating. It’s like watching a movie with a lot of special effects and horrific continuity errors and thinking, isn’t the script the CHEAP part? The EASY part? Shouldn’t just talking to us be the easy part?

Kristen’s posted about him. My friends know. Everyone asks. No news is good news but just a LITTLE news is a frustration.

Last night’s open mic continued slow, but we picked up the last of the featured artists. Rescheduled from being snowed out, DJ, Sleepy Smile, is our last featured artist for the foreseeable future. It was a Hell of a way to go out, but I’m disappointed that Dave’s killed that off. David has ALWAYS complained that we don’t get enough people in, especially enough NEW people… which I agree with… but the featured artists have been a tool for me to advertise something different every week, to “buy” diversity by hiring in artists who wouldn’t normally come out to a little open mic, and even if they’re only bringing themselves and a friend or three, in a room that really caps out at less than 30 people, that’s easily 10% of the population. It’s a continued frustration that Dave doesn’t seem to grasp that with 24 seats in the room, it’s viscerally uncomfortable for most people, especially in a post COVID era, with more than 20 or 25 people in the room. It’s a really, really fine balance between a “nice” night and an uncomfortable night and riding that line has been tricky.

Thursday February 12th I stepped out to film Acacia Sears. We did good work, and I came home aesthetically stimulated and visually Aware. 

Having the feature in the middle means most people at least STAY to the feature, gives me a convenient landmark, it’s also been a very powerful political tool for me. A bargaining chip for bookings, and a way for me to support other traveling artists. Dave complaining we weren’t getting enough performers on nights where we’ve got 18-21 artists signed up and are running till past 11pm seemed unreasonable. And I must admit that it’s probably my fault for saying “well, the only way we can squeeze more people in timewise is to cut to one song, and no-one will come out for that, or knock off the featured artist”. I didn’t expect him to go for that. He done called my bluff and I’m disappointed in myself for letting that happen.

Filthy snow gargoyles on the Islands (now Mountains) of Catonsville.

Setting up for 2/15 at Catonsville Clubhouse.

Still, Institute of Musical Traditions was fronting the money for the feature (though to get my “last” feature rescheduled I had to front half the money to convince him to still pay the rescheduled act – even though the money had already been budgeted).

Bah. Losing the featured artist is just another headwind against my interest in the SPARK, along with the drive, the social difficulties, the not-so-subtle needling from the school director saying “well, we COULD be monetizing this room on Tuesday nights…” complaining that we’re not making the school any money. (hey, Dave pays the rent? And me? And for snacks and drinks? And *till this month* for a featured artist? No?) Students there are always poking their heads in, it gives them something to shoot for. It educates.

Whatever. I’m not really making a case for it because of … headwinds. Social headwinds too. They’d be impolitic to put in writing.

Hell. THIS was impolitic to put in writing. I just feel like I haven’t been writing.

How can I be so busy yet STILL feel like a slacker?

Bah. Time to lay out my mother’s pills.

ilyAIMY performing at the benefit for Baltimore County Arts Guild and Lurman Theater at the Catonsville Clubhouse in Catonsville, MD on Sunday, February 15th. Specifically - playing Spring as a tribute to Ian Hesford, Telesma's didgeridoo player, who died this past week.